gotta be strong

Open mind. Open heart.

God is love.

dear Lord,

Please save me from myself.

try

It kills me to know that you're sad. I want to talk to you and just be there for you. But I don't know if you'll let me. We have a tight bond, and I don't want to break it. I really want to try, you mean more to me than you think. Everytime I want to call you or text you, I can't seem to find the right words. I'm scared, not of what we could be, but of what we might not be. I pray for you, and I pray for us every night. I want to reach out to you, but you might not pull me in, and I'll just be left there still reaching for you.

I miss you, but you know that already.

please listen

i like you. i miss you. and i care for you... always.

...

I don't exactly know what I'm thinking or feeling right now. But I hope i figure it out soon. We're only human right? Why does it always have to be so hard. Everything will work out for the better... all in good time.

God is love.

stuck

I barely use this thing anymore. But anyways, I guess I could update a little. I'm on spring break right now, but I'm definitely not enjoying it like I thought I would. I'm always limited to what I'm allowed to do. I can never just do what I feel I should be able to do, especially since I'm on break AND I'm 18 years old! shayshhh. But it seems that some things never change, and they never will change /= I don't want to sound pessimistic, but how long are you going to keep me from the outside world? Honestly, I'm only getting older and when your trying to hold me back, it only makes it worse for the both of us. If only you could hear me out mom, and understand me on my level.

I'm supposed to be heading to Long Beach right now to go to Jaimee's pad and then visit Andrew Marco at Irvine, but it doesn't look promising /= Even though I friggin promised him I would too ]= Wow, I am a flake and a failure at keeping my word. So much for committing to something. I don't know what else to do. I feel trapped. I feel stuck.

I've been looking for a job...still. But still unlucky. If someone would just give me a chance, I know I would work hard. I'd rather be working, going to school, anything, then be at home. It's such a waste of a day.

God is love.

Communication is key... if we only had it.